How not to get published as a Young Adult writer

Say any of the following to agents and editors: 
1. "I worked in Newcastle upon Tyne and then Ashington..." 
2. "My manuscript is ready to be published."
3. "I have a futuristic fantasy manuscript and a historical romance.."
4. "I was born in Croydon and went to W school and then.."
5. "There's this boy who doesn't know what he wants and he meets.."
6. "It's a kind of Malorie Blackman meets Philip Pullman idea,"
7. "I have a horse, have you got one too?"
8. "It's novelistically profound".
9. "It's a bit of a pot-boiler, really."
10. "Do you like Thomas Hardy, well,"